I will not fall for you again

Don't look at me the way
your eyes had pierced mine
that rainy evening
under the pink lights.

Don't give me those
above-average tight smiles
like there are so many words
held back by the rigid
boundaries you created.

Don't talk to me in
cryptic phrases and one-liners
just for the sake of conversation.

Don't laugh out louder than required
just to make me hear the sound.

Don't hold your gaze
when our eyes meet.

You wanted to leave.
You wanted to stop,
You wanted to end.
I let you.

Then why would you half-quit?
As if, deep inside, you're at war with yourself.

If you want to go away, go away completely.
There's the door. Just leave.
Don't look at me. Don't talk to me.
Don't be near me.
Don't pretend that you don't know
what I am talking about.

Because I've been through hell
and I have no intentions of
dancing on burning coal again.

I will not return your long gazes,
or smile when you talk to me.
I will not walk over to
where you're standing.
I will not.
Never again.
I will not fall for you again.

I will not guess your thoughts
and second-guess my decisions.
I will not try to read between your words
and judge your actions
Because honestly, I don't have
that kind of energy for you anymore.

So, when I try to undo the mess,
here, stop redoing it.
Because you're hitting a rock.
I will not fall for you again.